The Secret Language of Climbers

The Secret Language of Climbers

Climbers have their own secret language that we don’t really talk about, it’s really subtle.  I’ll give some examples. Here is the scene, you and a buddy are out for the day on a nice multi pitch, it’s a brisk enough outing and your starting to get a bit cold. You’re climbing partner is on lead above you, but out of sight and around a corner. You’re just sitting at the belay, they have been up there for a while. You’re getting more bored and colder by the second, you shout up “how you getting on?” what that translates to is “hurry the fuck up”. This secret language we use lets us climbers communicate in a super-efficient way.

One I use myself all the time is “hmmm, I’m not really feeling it” that is the code for “I’m fucking scared and the gear is shit and the rock looks loose and I don’t want to die, so I’m not leading that”. I’m not going to lie, I use this one all the time it’s super useful, seriously I use it more than my black totem.

Another example, you’re on lead, you’re getting a little tired, you haven’t got any gear for a good bit below you, you keep looking around desperately for anything, a shit cam, a pair of stacked nuts… jesus at this point you’d take a hex…. You search and search but it’s like looking for a sober person at Octoberfest, no luck. So you keep climbing, you quest higher and higher, and breaking the silence you hear shouted up to you “eh…. Any sign of any gear?” this translates roughly to “oi stop fucking about and place a fucking nut you gobshite”. The appropriate response here is “I’m not exactly skipping bolts here mate” which roughly translates to “I’m not exactly skipping bolts here mate”

Friends don't lets friends place shit gear.

Friends don't lets friends place shit gear.

Why I hate hexes

Why I hate hexes

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